Friday, March 02, 2007

Women are from Venus ~~ anna hood ~~

I loved you
then, back then
when you were
a God. We fit.

Back then you did
God-like things.
and kissed and kissed and kissed.
Steamy kisses, damp and misty kisses
kisses without beginning or end kisses.

And like an ancient knight
it caught your fancy
to wear a lock
of my pubic hair
pinned like a medal
to your chest.
Sexy beast.

We used to walk
across the milky way
the pathway of souls
across the roof of our world
night swishing our ankles
our footsteps ankle deep in sky
our lungs full of sky
our mouths full
of secret words
like forever and always.

Our voices lit the night
with breath hot
as Africa
my nipples firecrackers
under your tongue.
You smelled like a God.
You tasted like a God.
My god
I thought you were God.

Somewhere along the way
it changed
Mars maybe
you remembered your home
remembered Mars the war god.
Somehow it changed
the pubic hair medal gone
kissing’s somewhat pallid
the sky no longer our pathway
and although you’re still a god
you’re definitely a god
with a small g.


Blogger anna said...

too dumb!

10:46 AM  
Blogger Susan Abraham said...

Anna, you think your poem is dumb?
I thought you made the kisses sound exotic & enticing...and also wondered if you had been talking to Yoko Ono...over this...

And like an ancient knight
it caught your fancy
to wear a lock
of my pubic hair
pinned like a medal
to your chest.
Sexy beast.

In the hippie era in London, Ono introduced a pubic-hair shampoo, at her art exhibition!
Or you haven't been dreaming of Tarzan, have you? tee-hee!

Lovely read! Big hug!

10:15 PM  
Blogger anna said...

oh no! no ONO, although i think she's a brilliantly clever woman

Susan, usually i let these poems marinate awhile. sometimes when i finish and get that happy little buzz like 'oh so wonderful'
and then read it a few days later and realize it's just crap and then sometimes the opposite.
this one is quite aways down the crapometer scale. I will probably ditch it after i harvest the good bits.

Thanks as always!!
big hug

4:25 AM  
Blogger Bernita said...

That is an absolutely killer last line.

6:50 AM  
Blogger anna said...

Bernita probably that is the only one worth keeping
Nice to see ya!

7:20 AM  
Blogger Susan Abraham said...

I don't think it's crap at all, Anna.
Or else my thoughts must be too. :-)
I think what it is is that
your poems often make social statements on the injustices of relationships.
The underlying tones are subtle.
Powerful and very effective but subtle.
This time round, you have broken away from the norm and it's bordering boldly on the erotic.
And perhaps you're not used to your voice heading in this's a change of pace, tone and style.
I would say keep up with the experimenting.
And let your voice seek varied pastures.
Who knows what treasures await.


9:08 PM  
Blogger anna said...

this damn blogger - even keeps eating my response here!
Susan you are right, this is out of my comfort zone.
Thank you so much for the encouragement and for just being you

4:42 AM  
Blogger Atyllah said...

I thought that had such sensual overtones but was so poignant too, slightly embittered. There were some lovely lines in it like "night swishing our ankles" and "kissing's somewhat pallid". There's a lot of richness here - don't be so quick to diss it, sweetie.

7:17 AM  
Blogger jason evans said...

You don't think this is great? Oh, I disagree!

You must be so tired of hearing my praise. This was wonderful in its worship of "him" in order to juxtapose the loss of passion.

I have to let this one sit a while before I read the one over it.

Remember, the clock is ticking. 11 months left. ;)

11:30 AM  
Blogger anna said...

oh atyllah, there is a little bit of good stuff here but still pretty pissy. thanks sweet little hen for stopping by

Jason, laughing about the 11 months
my goodness pretty soon it will be Christmas again. Do you really think it is ok? it makes me hide my head in shame.

12:34 PM  
Blogger jason evans said...

I might ramp up the impact of the final stanza, but everything before that was stellar.

I really don't know why you would hang your head. You really are gifted. Maybe bad for you is great for everyone else.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Saaleha said...

It was brilliant. So tell the inner critic to shut up! They need that every now and again, those heartless fiends. Loved it! Love, how fickle she can be...

10:55 PM  
Blogger Dafath said...

yes, is corny but lusty corny

3:43 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home